Worst Movies of 2014, Part II

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Earlier this month, we gave you the first seven films on our Worst Movies of the 2014 list. Now it is time to unveil the final films on our list.

Instead of giving you just ten bad movies, we decided to forego a number and point out the cinematic criminals and place them on trial in this post. While we didn’t quite get them all (Noah, Monuments Men, Jimi: All Is By My Side) we did our best to spotlight the year’s biggest transgressors in hope that if you get an opportunity to come across ANY of these films, you should just cross the street or turn in the opposite direction.

During the year, we watched close to 300 films and for the most part many were entertaining. Then there were the films on this list that lacked imagination, had poor stories and execution or stars that have been much better in better films.

Without further ado, here are the remaining films on our Worst List:

Townies

NEIGHBORS

What can you say about Seth Rogen’s year in film? Nevermind, the decision that would resonate around the globe better known as The Interview. No, his largest mistake was this loud, crude, revisionist comedy about a former party-couple, now raising a small child, who long for their former party life and try to find an outlet with their new set of neighbors, a raucous fraternity. Similar to many of Rogen’s films, the movie relies on sight gags, potty humor and some incredibly bad parenting that should NEVER be displayed in any film. I can’t tell you how many times I found myself dumbfounded by a litany of jokes that clearly missed their mark that had the audience in stitches. This marks two of Rogen’s worst performances and while I wouldn’t mind hanging with him socially, NO WAY could he be MY neighbor – especially with a pissed off dictator on his tail!!!

Repentance-Movie

REPENTANCE

Is there any major Oscar winning actor that has a career as schizophrenic as Forest Whitaker? How can an actor that can give such great performances in Jason’s Lyric, The Great Debaters and The Last King of Scotland find himself in SO many bad movies? This was the question I repeatedly asked myself while looking at the hot mess masquerading as “psychological thriller.” The movie is notable for wasting the time of several very talented actors (Whitaker, Anthony Mackie and Sanaa Lathan) with a story not worthy of their time and the audience’s as well. Because of the film’s budget, it almost didn’t make the list but the fact that bad is bad made this choice painfully easy!

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THE SINGLE MOM’S CLUB

What would the year be without at least ONE film by writer/director Tyler Perry on this list. Whether it was a combination of abysmally-low gross ($15.9 million, the lowest-grossing from the prolific filmmaker) or whether Lionsgate decided to get out of the “Tyler Perry Business,” this film was the final film in the relationship between the Atlanta-based filmmaker and his studio. While Perry didn’t deserve to lose his distribution deal (despite what WE think, there are plenty of filmgoers who like Perry’s work) but after watching this discombobulated mess of cliches, bad acting, bad writing and direction may not lose you a deal BUT it could be the type of project that can turn even hard core Perry-ites off. Poor Nia Long, you and US, deserved much better!!!

Tammy

TAMMY

While actors such as Michael Keaton and Chris Rock are enjoying career renaissances, there are other actors that have not be as fortunate. One such actor is Melissa McCarthy, who used up all of her Bridesmaid/The Heat/Identity Thief goodwill by starring in one of the worst films of the year. Crude, crass, unfunny and often tasteless, Tammy is McCarthy’s attempt to delve into darker comedic territory that fails badly. Inexplicably, she got Oscar winners Susan Sarandon and Kathy Bates to also appear in this cinematic piece of excrement. Another of the current batch of comedies produced this year (A Haunted House 2, Neighbors) that continue to push the boundaries on good taste and the utter lack of creativity circulating around Tinseltown.

SEE ALSO: Worst Movies of 2014, Part I

The Best of Me

THE BEST OF ME

Another year, another predictable, melodramatic Nicholas Sparks adaptation. This latest is a by-the-books romantic drama about two star-crossed lovers trying to find themselves after many years would probably be standard viewing on Lifetime but is an abject failure as a feature. It is not just that the story was bad (serviceable, yet poorly executed) or it doesn’t boast star appeal with both Michelle Monaghan and James Marsden, it’s just that EVERY thing in the movie is SO telegraphed that you can see the end at least an hour before it happens. For all of the scorn certain directors have gotten from us, Sparks deserves some scorn for his collection of syrupy romantic films that always featured flawed, pretty people in jumbled situations looking for love. We personally would love to see Sparks’ stories on the big screen but as the song says, “you can’t always get what you want!”

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THE NUT JOB

The first animated release of the year was notable because it was also the worst. This tone-deaf, dated and nonsensical story of a selfish squirrel’s foray into the big city is filled with mobsters (yes, 1930s-style mobsters) and enough corny lines to make even the most cheerful child groan. Thankfully, Will Arnett’s saving grace was his humorous voice work one month later in a much better film, The Lego Movie. We could go on with the many faults of this disjointed story but we’ll leave you with the film’s tagline from the studio’s creative marketing department: “No Nuts, No Glory.” Exactly, you can also add “No Imagination, No Story” or “One Must Be NUTS to watch this!”

TRANSCENDENCE

TRANSCENDENCE

One of the world’s biggest movie stars, Johnny Depp is on a roll. Unfortunately for him, it is not the one that fills him with a sense of pride. Depp’s last three films, The Rum Diary, Dark Shadows and The Lone Ranger have considerably dimmed his one bright star. His latest, Transcendence, shows that Depp has yet to find his career bottom. The story of a scientist motivated by curiosity about the nature of the universe and finds him plugged into the web was a major disappointment at the box office that in a story was criticized for its plot structure, characters and dialogue. His recent box office failures have pushed his films from the prestigious Summer season to the more undesirable Spring season. Depp’s latest, Mortdecai opens in theaters on JANUARY 23. We rest our case; oh, how the mighty have fallen!!!

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WINTER’S TALE

One of the strangest films of the year was this stunningly bad supernatural fantasy. A story that cast Russell Crowe as a supernatural demon posing as the gangster, Colin Farrell as a clueless, lovelorn thief and most egregious of all, The Fresh Prince, Will Smith as Lucifer. The feature film debut of Oscar-winning screenwriter, Akiva Goldsman, responsible for a bevy of notable films including Batman Forever, I Am Legend, Cinderella Man, The Da Vinci Code, I, Robot and A Time to Kill, called in all of his favors from his A-list buddies to create one of the worst films of the year in relation to the talents of his star-studded cast. Think about this for a second, which recent film boasted FOUR Oscar winners (Crowe, William Hurt, Eva Saint Marie, Jennifer Connelly) a Golden Globe winner (Colin Farrell) and one of the biggest box office stars in the world (Smith) in the cast? Not many and despite winning an Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay for A Beautiful Mind, even HE couldn’t make this lame tale work. Sometime less is clearly more and it seems that Goldsman forgot the “golden rule,” it’s not about the stars, it’s story, Story, STORY!!!
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