Grown*ish | If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late (S1 E3)

by Ariana Romero | via Refinery29

Tonight’s grown-ish episode, “If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late,” came in at a trim, efficient 21 minutes and one single second, including the title and credits sequence. Yet, it took me double that amount of time to finish it. Not because it’s bad — in fact, “Too Late,” is very, very good — but, because it is especially very, very good at being heart-stoppingly awkward. It is well documented I cannot do awkward. To battle back the looming cringes of Zoey Johnson (Yara Shahidi) and her latest misadventure, I turned to the calming balm of Chinese food.

Why did I need a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup to deal? Because Zoey commits a cardinal sin of “hooking up:” going overboard on the overthinking text messages, finding a getaway boat at the bottom of her emotional free-fall, and then jumping overboard once again for good measure, effectively drowning herself in iMessages about baby names and shared checking accounts. So, it’s time to figure out how the coolest Johnson kid in the bunch found herself in the least cool situation.

At the top of “Too Late,” we see some time has passed after that premiere-ending “U up?” text from the cutest boy in school, Aaron Jackson (Trevor Jackson). While I said last week the running joke of Zoey’s head-over-heels crushing-slash-stalking was just how uninterested Aaron seemed in our heroine, that era is long over.

This time grown-ish opens on Zoey and Aaron flirtatiously dancing at a dorm party to French Montana’s “Unforgettable.” Rather than telling some rando to walk Zoey home, as Aaron obliviously did last week, the activist is all over her. For both grown-ish’s leading lady and her squealing friends, it’s a welcome change. Amid all the dance floor-induced dopamine, girls’ night conversations, and horny texts shooting through the air around her, Zoey couldn’t be more enamored with college life.

After all, if colleges didn’t want their students to figure out this whole sexuality thing, they wouldn’t give hordes of hormone-fueled young people beds inside of rooms that come with lockable doors, right? Right.

As Zoey comes to this logical conclusion, she receives another “U up?” text from Aaron. By now everyone understands those three little letters are the most polite way of asking “Want to get naked?” without sending the more direct eggplant emoji. Soon we learn this isn’t Zoey’s first, or second, rodeo with a late-night hookup text from Aaron. Only, this time feels different.

So, Zoey confers a group of her girls, including Ana Torres (Francia Raisa), Forster sisters Jazz (Chloe Bailey) and Sky (Halle Bailey), Nomi Segal (Emily Arlook), and Nomi’s definitely-not-a-gymnast hookup Sheila (Nicole Olney), to talk about, well, “hooking up.” No one can agree upon what the term officially means, but they can agree it sure sounds like Ana is accidentally dating her uncle. Although Zoey leaves the conversation more confused than ever, it’s worth pointing out Jazz and Sky did give the best definition of the elusive phrase, explaining, “Hooking up is always sexual, but it doesn’t mean sex.”

At least Zoey can rest assured she’s not the only one turned upside-down by the latest sexual lingo, since Aaron and Vivek Shah (Jordan Buhat) are busy debating what “nudey bank” means. Aaron says it’s the collection of nude photos one gets from conquests, while Vivek believes it’s the oeuvre of penis portraiture one sends out. Artsy bae Luca Hall (Luka Sabbat) confirms Aaron is right, even though the two guys apparently hate each other. That is how wrong Vivek is.

Click HERE to read the rest of the recap, “If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late (S1 E3)”

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